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Beyond the Feelings

There had been no sign of Timothy for almost a month. For many years, she had been thinking about the same person. Lying under a blanket, she watched the stars on the ceiling slowly fading. She remembered how many years she had spent in efforts to win a little bit of Timothy’s attention. Five long years passed. Likewise, there were the ones who tried to win her heart with no luck, except for Tim. Never facing, she was afraid of the obvious truth that for many years he had been the only one for her.

But one day, she eventually met the man with whom she could be herself and at the same time to play a variety of roles while being appreciated. Finally, the man managed to appreciate the inner world of Jessica. She felt overwhelmed with her new emotions and fell asleep.

Soon after falling asleep, she saw a bright light coming to her. The light slowly gained the familiar shape. The tall handsome guy gradually loomed and became Tim.

‘Unbelievable, now you are in my dreams. Can you see how much I’m into you?’

‘You have nothing to do with it. It's not your fault.’

‘It is so good that we are in a dream. Now I can pour out my heart.’ Jessica was ready to tell him everything, but the way Tim looked at her made her stop. ‘Please, tell me what could distract you so much that I do not have the opportunity to share my happiness with you?’

 

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‘That is the point!’

‘No Timmy, you are wandering from the point! At least once in your life, tell me everything as it is.’

‘I'm an angel.’

‘You? An angel? Sorry Timmy but I must confess I rarely found your jokes funny. This time you're out of luck as well.’

‘Can’t you see?’ he said referring to his glow.

‘Yes, I see. Can you turn it off?’ said Jessica.

He clapped his hands twice and the light around him disappeared.

‘Cool trick’ she mumbled overcoming the shock. ‘Hmm... Well, an angel... Now what?’

‘You already know.’

‘I know? I don’t know!’

‘I came for you.’

‘You could not have come for me. Anyway, I did not notice.’

‘I wanted to give you love.’

‘You loved me? Tim, you did not love me. I can say that for sure.’

‘Well, would you have loved me if I had shown you all my feelings?’

‘So you loved me?’

‘No. In any case, not as you hoped for it.’

‘Then I do not understand anything.’

‘Tell me, would you have loved me for years?’

‘I guess no. That is why I said back then that we would be just friends.’

‘Do you understand now?’

‘Not quite. If you did not love me, how could you give me love if I said no to you many years ago?’

‘I knew you would refuse me.’

‘Listen, I do not understand anything. Why didn’t you leave then?’

‘To teach you love. I left you for a long time while you wanted to see me and tell me that you fell in love with all of your heart. I didn’t distract you. Without me, you completely understood your feelings. When I was with you, when you saw me, when you dreamed about me, when I left you, when I didn’t love you, when you hated me you tried to think of someone else. You tried to turn to someone else to forget me. But that had to be something real, something light, warm and gentle, which was called Love. Real love. What you felt for me all that time was not love. You never really loved.’

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‘Before,’ she said turning away from him.

‘I was before too. Understand now?’ she heard Timmy, but she did not look back. She understood. Now she understood and was afraid of it.

‘You'll go, am I right?’

‘Yes.’

In the entire universe, there were two people who did not say anything. They were afraid to break the silence flooded with sadness. He took her hand and put something in it. Then he hugged her.

Jessica opened her eyes full of tears. Was it a dream or was he really an angel? It was easier to find a thousand excuses than to believe what had happened to her. She put her hand to her face and wiped tears. The hand was clenched. When she opened it, she saw an old coin. The girl smiled at that last gift from her angel as there was an inscription saying “anything is possible.”

 

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